porsche with no breaks ?

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Hi 
I'm feeling really overwhelmed under my consciousness.  Lately I wish to have an emotional support from somebody.  
I take my own time and look back to find the places I went wrong cus im lacking the comfort in my system and I also feel guilty for some kinda way 

Looking back , I find that my greatest mistake were
1. I never gave my best 
2. Lack of discipline 
3. Lack of self esteem 
4. Lack of gratitude 
5. Jealousy 
6. Lack of work 
7. Settling for tiny dopamine spike 
8. Fairytale deams and lack of faith .
9. Didn't say "no" to non profit acts 
10. Procrastination 
11. Lack of consistency 


Pls don't judge me , I'm writing this at 12 30 am ik. It's just my ovulation time n hormonal thingy responsible for insomnia I guess . 

Then comes the emotional support thing , 
Growing up I always wish on stars to have a romantic man to accompany me in life . 
Somebody gentle to my flaws , someone to guide me when I go wrong , someone to play games with me , someone to challenge me , someone who is as conscious as meh , someone who'd swim the sea to find me when I'm lost , he'd not be my emotional support system.  He wouldn't.  He'd not make me dependent on him , rather he shall always put me in competition and challenges.  

♣︎ Self consciousness and care is all you need , people who lack that are the ones seeking love outside of their room . Also when you dream bout your spouse, just hold on a moment , how can you love somebody else when you don't care bout yourself ?!, think 'bout it . 

No we won't support eachother,  we shall test eachothers capabilities,  we'd update eachother sharing our knowledge . We'd push eachother in problems and learn new solutions.  

♥︎ I don't need a man to acknowledge my worth. I don't need a man to know how beautiful I am . I don't need appreciation, I know who I am. I don't seek validation. 

Now , that's my goal . I have not met the man I'm searching for , I shall be quiet and patient and not get lost for the trap called love . 

No , I shall not waste my time hooking up with somebody I don't see in my mind . 

♣︎Nah nobody else but you , only you can be your greatest parent.  It's a spam that your biological parents know to care you and the best for you . Look carefully,  they don't know whts on your mind , they don't know your motive . Nobody can seek inside u but you . Only you can do the best for you . 

I shall stay dedicated and for the day when I find u , just know that I knew we were to happen.  For until then , I'm in the process of selfishness . 


your team mate , 
janhv

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Anonymous said…

True
31 May 2023 at 14:49
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